Using Restorative Practices in Preschool

Classroom management in early childhood settings has traditionally relied on behavior charts, time-outs, sticker systems, and other external reward or punishment models. These tools can create the appearance of order, yet they often fail to build the internal skills young children need to manage their emotions, navigate conflict, and relate to others.

Restorative practices offer an alternative grounded in connection, empathy, and responsibility. While often associated with middle or high school settings, restorative approaches can be adapted in developmentally appropriate ways. When implemented with intention, they can transform early childhood classroom culture from compliance-based to community-driven.

WHAT RESTORATIVE PRACTICE LOOKS LIKE FOR YOUNG CHILDREN

Restorative practices shift the question from “How do we stop this behavior?” to “What skills are missing, and how can we teach and support those skills?” The goal is not to eliminate conflict, but to equip children with the tools to repair and restore relationships when conflict inevitably arises. A growing body of work, including research on implementing restorative practices in preschool settings, shows that even young children can engage in reflection, accountability, and relationship repair when developmentally appropriate supports are in place.

Research from the Learning Policy Institute shows that restorative practices are evidence-based tools that reduce exclusionary discipline and improve school climate, principles that can and should begin in early childhood.

It’s also critical to avoid using restorative practices as “one more thing.” These approaches are not a separate curriculum or behavior program; they are integrated into the daily rhythms of classroom life. Whether helping a child transition from playtime to cleanup or navigating peer disagreements, restorative language and routines become a natural part of the classroom ecosystem.

Restorative work with early learners must honor their developmental stage. This means using visual supports, simplified language, and opportunities for guided practice through play. Abstract reflection and lengthy discussions are not appropriate for most children in this age group, but with consistent routines and adult modeling, they can begin to understand the impact of their actions and how to make things right.

Community-building routines. Short, predictable connection times, such as daily morning meetings, can help establish a shared sense of responsibility and belonging. Children participate in discussions about how they want their classroom to feel, what helps them learn, and how they can care for one another.

Affective language. Instead of saying, “That’s not nice,” a teacher might use emotion-based communication. This approach helps children connect their actions to the feelings of others and builds emotional literacy over time. For example:

• Instead of “Stop yelling,” the teacher could say, “Your voice is loud right now, and it’s making it hard for others to concentrate. Let’s try a calm voice together.”
• If a child grabs a toy, the adult might say, “I see that you really wanted that truck. But grabbing made your friend feel upset. What can we do to share next time?”
• After helping a peer, the teacher might comment, “You noticed your friend was sad and gave them a hug. That showed kindness.”

This intentional use of language helps children recognize emotions, reflect on their impact, and begin to internalize prosocial behavior, not because they’re told to, but because they understand why it matters.

Repair. When a child causes harm, whether through unkind words, physical aggression, or exclusion, they are guided to understand the other person’s perspective and invited to participate in a repair process. This may involve drawing a picture, offering a verbal apology, or finding a way to help or include the other person. The point is not to force an apology, but to scaffold the process of reflection and responsibility.

The Building Bright Futures initiative in Vermont has documented success with restorative practices in preschool settings, particularly through the introduction of Restorative Practice Circles. In these circles, preschool students are guided to practice listening, share their feelings, and take responsibility for their actions. Educators use simple co-regulation techniques, such as pausing for deep breaths before speaking, and ask children to reflect on how certain actions might make others feel. This intentional, structured time fosters empathy, emotional literacy, and trust among students and teachers.

IMPLEMENTATION: PRACTICAL APPROACHES THAT WORK

Over the past several years, restorative practices have been integrated into a variety of early learning environments, including Montessori, play-based, and public pre-K settings. The following approaches have proven particularly effective and sustainable for young children:

Class agreements cocreated with children. Rather than posting a premade “Classroom Rules” chart, teachers cocreate community agreements with students at the start of the year. Using child-friendly language and drawings, the class discusses and illustrates how they want to treat one another. Phrases like “We help our friends” or “We use listening ears” are generated by the children themselves. Because the agreements come from the students, they’re more likely to be internalized and revisited when needed.

The peace corner. A calm-down space is introduced as a supportive tool, not a punishment. Stocked with emotion cards, sensory tools, mirrors, and simple breathing visuals, this space allows children to step away, regulate, and return when they feel ready. Importantly, the Peace Corner is not used punitively; teachers don’t send children there—children learn to choose it for themselves when they need a moment to reset.

“Making it right” rituals. After a conflict, children are guided through a short, reflective process. Instead of asking, “Why did you do that?” (a cognitively complex question for young learners), teachers focus on what happened, how the other person may have felt, and what the child can do to help. Giving choices in repair, such as offering a kind word, building something together, or helping with a task, restores agency while fostering empathy.

For example, after a pushing incident, the teacher might gently kneel down and say, “I saw that you were upset and pushed. Let’s check in with your friend—how do you think they’re feeling?” The teacher then supports the child in choosing a next step, such as asking, “Would you like to draw them a picture, offer a hug, or help them rebuild the blocks?” This small ritual transforms a moment of harm into a moment of learning and connection.

Circle time prompts for connection and problem-solving. Weekly class discussions offer space to explore social dynamics and class norms. Prompts such as “What can we do if someone feels left out?” or “How do we know if someone is upset?” help children build a collective understanding of kindness, fairness, and inclusion. These conversations create a shared language that children begin to reference in real time.

Role-play and storytelling as skill-building tools. Puppets, storybooks, and dramatic play are used to rehearse conflict-resolution skills in a safe and imaginative context. Children are far more likely to generalize skills when they’ve had multiple opportunities to practice in low-stakes scenarios. These role-play sessions are often child-led, providing insight into the social dynamics that children are navigating.

Successful use of restorative practices in early childhood depends on adult consistency, emotional modeling, and a long-term approach. The goal isn’t to eliminate misbehavior, but to understand it as communication and use conflict as a chance to teach reflection, repair, and responsibility. With the right structures in place, even very young children can begin to grasp concepts like fairness, empathy, and accountability, skills supported by restorative justice tools adapted for early learners. In a world where connection is often disrupted by distraction, helping children build these capacities may be one of the most lasting contributions we can make.